Journey to Ixtlan....
My favourite lines from the movie "The Adjustment Bureau".
"Most people live the life on the path we set for them too afraid to explore any other . But once in a while people like you come along who knock down all the obstacles we put in your way;
People who realise "free Will" is a gift you will never know how to use until you fight for it. I think thats the Chairman's real plan.."
1 am , 7th September 2011, typed final words of my business report. 9000 words said the word document. So one report done and one more to go......1 week and done with MBA......Holding on with this thought .....my mind took me back in time ...flashback a year and half back.....somewhere in mid June 2010.
I was planning for MBA, applications were sent and waiting for the replies from the Universities.....It was a Sunday , and luckily i had a week off...yes was a rare occassion. Even today when my mother hears that i do sleep for 5 hours...she is happy....because i admit i am workaholic. Used to work 16 hours while at IBM, not that i didnt plan my time well, my work used to be done in 9 hours, rest of the time i used to prepare presentations and excel reports and macros for my friends in the workforce team.....for selfish reasons of course ..i always wanted to master excel and appreciate the different ways in which data can be analysed.
Oops , back to the topic, so on a Sunday , i was relaxed, watching television when the door bell rung. Some of my relatives had come over to visit . Hi and Hello happened, after which they were engrossed in talks with my mother. I continued to watch television as they were in the kitchen....Suddenly heard some words of interest ....they were talking about MBA.....i immediately switched off the television so that i can hear the conversation. Before i could hear anything , they came outin the living room and gave me a curious look. After a minutes silence, conversation started...or for that matter question and answer session .
Your mother just said , you are planning to pursue MBA?
Yes....i said....
Hmmm, MBA in UK? the word UK was stressed....Yes was my reply.., How will you manage all the funds? Student loan was my reply .
How much is the interest?
I would find out once i get an offer from University.....
I had no idea , why i was answering all the questions, but somehow i had no option....
Then came the real part of the conversation......Mihir, you have to understand , we do come from a middle class background, and when you talk about loan, you have to mortgage your house....and what about your parents? What is you back up plan?
Before i could answer, she continued, We do not have any Godfather, sponsor or anyone in United Kingdom that you are painting these dreams of MBA abroad...how are you going to manage the competition, job search without any network? How will you succeed?
I asked her if she is done with all the talking......and replied in a polite tone......I dont compete with others...i only compete with self... to which she seemed puzzled......
I then recited four lines to her, which i had heard a year back....
सभी को सभी कुछ हासिल नहीं मिलता
नदी की हर लेहेर को साहिल नहीं मिलता
अरे ये दिलवालों की दुनिया है , अजब है दास्ताँ इसकी
किसी से दिल नहीं मिलता और कोई दिलसे नहीं मिलता
These lines say....everyone do not have every thing readymade, and how does it matter? It should not matter at all.....Had i thought about the world and what my relatives would think about me , (some said i am an irresponsible son) i wouldnt have risked to come here. But its not about pleasing people aroud you or answering questions like What would people say? Log kya kahenge? ...Its about following the voice within, your gut feeling and instincts.....
If you can do that effectively, you dont need any Godfather to succeed in life.......Not that i have succeeded in life, but remembered the incident .....i dont know why.... If i go back to India with a job offer, the same relatives would call this decision of mine , thoughtful and courageous.....All you can do then is , smile..:)
One chance is all i need , u say to her, Give one one positive signal , Silence! You request and plead, to see her standing besides you smiling at you.And then she finally says "You have to play according to my rules" . Life is the ultimate leveller. Her smiling face makes you ask questions to self..What do you do then?
MBA taught me about planning and scheduling, every activity can be reasoned and scheduled, where you can be in control, Or Can you? Life does have many unexpected bouncers which takes you by surprise and in a second you are on the ground.....All of a sudden you start looking dumb in the wide world and clueless about what next is in store. You have planned some activities, associated yourself with people around you and have painted some lovely dreams about future when destiny plays a loud vuvuzela leaving you no option but to listen .
You ask or demand for explanations/reasons ,finally find yourself at the same place where you started , all by yourself!
Are you defeated then,no infact Humbled!
So the question still remains, What do you do then ? Gather strength from wherever you can and carry on with "Life" . What Else!
MBA exams are finally over, and i am enjoying the phase before intership, which is a "Total rest" phase. Working with IBM for 4 long years, i always wanted to do MBA , and the thought remained at the back of my mind. September 2010, i was back to school, this time Business school. I did carry tiffin to some of the lectures, like i use to during my school days.
Yesterday , i saw this movie Stanley Ka Dabba, directed by Amol Gupte. The subject covered in the movie talks about a serious issue of child labour in India....but while watching the movie there was another thought that crossed my mind.
In India , it is very common that you share your tiffin , or for that matter, you dont eat alone in a group, you offer each one of them . We did the same thing in school. This is also shown in the movie. When i came here in UK, i was happy, excited and worried as i knew nothing about cooking.
Within few days i realised, the selfishness involved with food . I can understand if any foreigner does this, but fellow Indians(not all) also did it. In the initial days of Uni life, i carried my tiffin and i used to offer to friends whatever i got in the tiffin, not expecting anything back. I also made a point that i dont eat when others are not eating or i use to join a group who is having their lunch and would have my tiffin there. But then the weird experiences started to grow. There was a time when we were doing a group presentation (group of 5-6) . This presentation counted for 30% of our overall score for that module, so we were working hard after lectures till 9pm daily. During the preparation and practice, we use to eat chips, chocolates etc. we shared it among all. Then came a day when we were following our preparation , every one was exhausted but were pushing themselves so that we perform better. One of the team member said, that he/she is hungry and would eat the tiffin and is sorry that he/she is not able to share the tifin with us. I am okay with this statement, and i dont expect anyone to share the food,but that person opened the tiffin in the room and ate the whole tiffin in front of all . I was zapped. You start to think about the upbringing of a person and how he/she is going to teach his/her child about giving, sharing and basic manners? I know i shouldnt run to conclusions basis one instance, but i am listing just one of the many experiences here.
I may be wrong here, and it is my personal view, but somehow i cant say "No" to anyone when some one asks about Food. This is basic, and was taught to me since childhood. There has been instances where some of my food is missing, i never thought of making it an issue, because what are you gaining by fighting on some small amount of milk, or chapatis??
On the contrary , whenever i met friends from Pune /Mumbai the experience was exactly opposite. Is the cultural difference so much within states of India??? I hear many people say that Brits are selfish and self centered, even if they are, thats their culture. But what about us? We have been taught sharing and Atithi Devo Bhava since childhood,and after spending some years in UK, we suddenly start behaving in the same way as the people here do? Then why blame the people here? I have accepted the fact that when you help someone here, or just share something as small as food, it is not taken in the same way as it is India. In India if you help someone, most of the times the guy keeps that in mind and acknowledges it. But here you sharing something itself is a big thing. Initially i found it weird to eat in front of my flatmates in the living room , so i use to eat in my room. As days progressed, i have adapted to the situation and now can eat when no one else is in the group. I still think that it is a big compramise on my part, but fortunately i stay with mates from different countries and hence the food we eat is different.
I also agree to the fact that when it comes to UK , you are all alone, and have to manage all you expenses and budget. I have seen people save ample money staying together in group and helping each other and sharing things. Where does this ego and selfishness come then? I have seen fights over milk, garlic and coke.....I understand the protocol of seeking permission before using anyone's food, but would you go to the extent of a fight for such a reason? And are you going to get that satisfaction of getting the food back ?
All in all, i have adapted to most of the practices, without compramising much on the values taught. But while watching the movie yesterday all these thoughts gathered in my mind. It was necessary to write them down.
I shall quote another experience here from India.
ME along with my society friends had gone to trip to North India. We halted at a Dhaba, to have our dinner. The lady there, started cooking parathas for us. She served hot parathas and we kept on eating . All of us were done in the next 40 minutes and we asked her to stop cooking. She was surprised and said, You guys eat so less, i have ended up preparing 15 more parathas, anyways, i shall pack them for you you can have it during your journey. She did not charge us for those parathas, when asked why, she answered innocently, its almost 12 am ,, i would close the dhaba in an hour. even if some other customer comes, i wont serve them cold food, so you might as well take these with you.
We are talking about a women, who did not go to school, is running a business(dhaba) ,and is not thinking about money although she has made efforts to make those parathas. For her, serving fresh and hot food and watch the people enjoy and appreciate the food was more important than money . In business terms thats too emotional ,but when you are at the receiving end as we were, you can feel the warmth and intent about the thought she had. And thats the reason i remember this instance , and would probably never forget this my entire life.....
Life is all about giving and sharing, i am trying to follow this, We all should...on this note, i take your leave. Good night!
